Dear Friends,

Welcome to City Country School’s fourteenth year! In my and Jorge’s name, and in the name of the guides, specialists, administration and staff, I welcome all returning families. We are looking forward to seeing everyone and to being shocked by how much some of you have grown over the summer! We are excited to share another academic year with you. We are delighted to welcome to our school community all the new families, which include local families, a returning family that was in France for several years, as well as families from Brazil, Switzerland, Italy, Argentina, Peru, and the Dominican Republic. Welcome all! We take advantage of this letter to thank you for the trust you place in the school. This trust is the essential support that we need to do our work and the greatest gift you can give us. We strive everyday to be worthy of that trust and we offer the same trust to our families, whom we know are doing their very best at every moment.

We can’t believe that City Country School is an adolescent! In human adolescents the fourteenth to fifteenth year is easily one of the most challenging; when the full mystery and power of the adolescent mind—novelty seeking, questioning, idealism, creativity, courage, social engagement, emotional intensity—makes its appearance and the journey into the Socialized Mind (term the evolutionary psychologist Robert Kegan gives to this adolescent stage of development, where more than 60% of adults are stuck) begins. A well-accompanied adolescent, with an adequately prepared environment and the necessary support, can fully inhabit the adolescent stage of development, enter into their Socialized Mind, and retain the energizing qualities of adolescence into adulthood. On this strong foundation they can grow into higher stages and build the type of adult mind that the world needs right now: capable of complex and subtle thinking, deep perception, and integration. Minds with a higher level of consciousness can face and solve problems created at lower levels of consciousness.

I cannot count the times that I have sat with parents who are not sure why they are visiting the school beyond the fact that they feel vaguely uneasy when they think of sending their child to the school in their neighborhood, or the school they attended. They can only articulate their misgivings in general terms, but something inside them is pushing them to make a different choice, to search for other ways. We adults are often spurred to grow by suffering. That suffering can be very mild, for example when we can’t solve a practical or intellectual problem, provoking in us a nervous energy, even, excitement; or the suffering can be stronger, provoked by a life challenge, a recurring struggle with someone, making us feel like we are on the edge of a precipice, making it difficult to sit still, or sleep; or it can be a terrible blow, agonizing emotional pain, provoking a desire to outrun our own body, or duck underneath it, somehow. The suffering that demands growth presents in ways large and small, but the demand is the same one: Grow! Expand! One principal source of suffering, and therefore of growth, is our children.

First you feel uneasy when thinking of sending your child the school down the road, or feeding them fast food, or speaking to them in ways that can be hurtful, then, as they grow, the unease increases at the thought of them with a smart phone in hand, measuring their worth against the fake, fabricated, fantasies available online. At some point, feeling like a snake outgrowing its skin, the discomfort becomes so strong that you throw off the expectations and say no to the smart phone, facing the wrath of your children, the skepticism of your family, and, most importantly, your own self-questions: “Am I am out of my mind?” Yes! In an important sense you are out of your mind: out of your Socialized Mind, that does what everyone else is doing, and into your Self-Authoring Mind (Robert Kegan’s term for the adult stage of development that follows the Socialized Mind), doing what you believe is best, because you are able to look at the structures, paradigms, assumptions, and frames of reference of your own mind from the outside and question whether they are right for you. This adult growth can be very painful, because you must leave something behind (the school you attended as a child, the approval of your family, the fantasy of your child’s fitting in)—you become a heretic—, but the joy of the internal growth that you feel as you lose mental constraints is unmatched. And, if there is a community to receive this new version of your self, to welcome it, and share in it, then that growth will be integrated and will support further growth into the Self-Transforming Mind and beyond.

The very best thing that we can do for our children and their future, is to grow up ourselves!

In my life as a seeker, which I suspect would be a good descriptive for most of the parents in this school—seekers—the first real community of growth beyond my family that I have been a part of is this school; it is here that I have continually met the edge of my abilities to contain complexity, it is here that I have been forced to grow and expand, and it is here that my new stages of growth have found a place. I have been pushed, prodded and provoked by students, by colleagues, by parents, by happenings at school, that have made manifest my immature and limited understanding, my shadows and blind spots, my defenses. My work is continuous and unending, one layer just reveals another! Humbled and grateful, I have realized the importance of a community within which to grow and I have found renewed commitment to providing that community for the faculty, and for interested parents.

City Country is a school where the deep structure to support important adult growth later in life is laid down. That itchy feeling spurring growth from the inside can be very, very subtle: a whisper of discomfort that spurs the child forward to know more, to explore, to get to the bottom of something. All the components of the school—prepared environments, activities, guides, curriculum, culture—have as their purpose to help the child discover and come to know that feeling intimately, to understand it as a cue to move forward, to question, and to experiment, and then to enjoy the resultant rush of joy that comes in the wake of their increased understanding. Please remember that there is nothing quick or flashy about this process; it is not accompanied by bells or whistles; it is low-to-the-ground, subtle, permanent, and irreversible. Unlike most school “learning” both the feeling of growth and its resultant learning and understanding are never forgotten.

Next week you will be receiving a letter about your child’s (or children’s) program, with details about the Orientation Meeting and any other information specific to their program. During the Orientation Meetings guides will be able to answer your questions and clear up confusions. We are waiting with open arms for you and yours to bring the school to life!

A great big hug to you,

Sarah